There is
no simple
answer.
However,
here is a
list of most
common
reasons.
-
Financial
dependence
on spouse
-
Lack
of self
esteem and
depression.
-
The
children.
-
No place to
go and no
support
group spouse
is aware of.
-
Embarrassment
over
admitting
failure in
the
marriage.
Is there help? Yes!!-But first
you must be willing to help
yourself before anyone can help
you. Admitting there is a
problem is the first big step.
The second thing you need to do
is seek advice from a member of
the clergy, mental health
professional, marriage support
groups or an attorney in your
community. Many communities
offer free support groups and
places you and the children can
go and stay in times of crisis.
Check it out so the next time
you are prepared to take the
right steps for you and the
children.
Most
states now
have
“Domestic
Violence”
statutes
that can
provide a
cooling off
period. If
you have
been abused,
call the
police, seek
medical
attention,
take
pictures
(they are
truly worth
a thousand
words) and
file a
petition
with your
local court,
police or
commissioner.
This will
send the
abuser
packing for
a cooling
off period.
However, the
alleged
abuser will
have a
hearing
generally
within 1
week,
depending on
service and
the court
system. At
that time
the court
will decide
whether to
extend the
time to stay
away or not.
Most courts
can give you
use and
possession
of your
home,
temporary
custody of
your child
or children
and
temporary
support. The
Judge can
often order
the abusing
spouse to
attend anger
management
courses, pay
interim
support and
keep the
person away
from schools
and work.
Never use domestic violence as a
way to instigate an altercation
because you are trying to get
your spouse out of the house.
This could boomerang against you
and now you are on the
defensive. Judges are keenly
aware that there is room for
reverse abuse by using the
statutes solely for self gain
and to get custody of the
children as the first strike in
a custody battle. You could
loose and so do the children.
The Courts generally define
domestic violence as an
individual who has received
deliberate, severe, and
demonstrable physical injury, or
is in fear of imminent
deliberate, severe, and
demonstrable physical injury
from a current or former spouse,
or a current or former
cohabitant. The Court can and
does look at past acts of
domestic violence.
Do not wait until after you have
been abused, because the Courts
are there to provide immediate
relief and generally will not
issue an order weeks after the
incident.
When you go to Court many
advocacy groups can assist you
at nominal charge or for free.
If you know that you need and
want a final break in the
relationship and you are ready
to help yourself, then contact a
lawyer in your community to
assist you. He can help you
prepare for your trial. He
understands the judicial process
and can help you from making a
mistake that could lead to a
denial of a domestic violence
order. Be prepared to have
witnesses, bring photos and
medical records.
Don't be a statistic. You need
to help yourself before anyone
can help you. Your future
depends on what you do. |
